Dos and don'ts: Wedding Planner Edition

Five things THIS Wedding Planner WON’T DO (and five things she will)
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Dos and don’ts: Wedding Planner Edition

Five things THIS Wedding Planner WON’T DO (and five things she will)

Ah, dos and don’ts… When it comes to weddings, you can find really a lot of lists online, but this is going to take a slightly different edge.

Maybe it’s better if I go a step back and explain myself, uh?

I was browsing the net the other night, lounging around a few minutes before going to bed, when in a group about weddings, I saw a poll come up. The topic was wedding organization, with some preferring to do it by themselves, some talking about hiring a planner…

And then, there it was.

A comment of a person saying that they had talked with a person presenting themselves as a wedding planner, and this wedding planner had started telling them what they could and couldn’t do.

I don’t know if there’s an equivalent in English, but in Italian we say “my arms fell”.

If there’s something that leaves me speechless is seeing this job – which I really love – treated like a way to boss people around, and to impose rules that, frankly? It’s not like they are etched in stone or something, you know? If you want a formal wedding, then yes, there are quite strict rules, but… most people just want to have fun!

So, here I am, with my personal dos and don’ts: FIVE things THIS wedding planner (but it goes for most of my fantastic colleagues out there) won’t do and five I will do.

Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, by Idina Menzel


1. This wedding planner will not tell you that you can’t do something

Unless it includes defying gravity. I’m not Elphaba. But basically, most rules out there are made to be bent, broken, adapted, and some just plainly disregarded. Anyone telling you differently, probably hasn’t understood what’s really important for you and your event.

Now, what I will do is highlighting the pros and cons of each choice you might take. Rest assured, though, if I advise you against something, it’s usually to save you hassle, nuisances and money, not to make your event about me.

2. This wedding planner will not take any decision in your place.

Unless it’s an emergency on wedding day, or it’s a zero-cost decision that doesn’t change anything you deem important, everything will be chosen by you and your significant other. As emergency, I mean something dealing with badly placed tables that need to be moved, or, if you remember me talking about this (if not, click the link), creating wedding bags four days before the big day to avoid a mass guest kidnapping.

It’s so very important to me that your wedding resembles you, tells your story, I couldn’t do it without your choices! General dos and don’ts can never completely get you!

3. This wedding planner will not forbid DIY to you.

I might ask you if you’re sure, very very sure, Windows-95-shutting-down sure about it, but if you want to go all DIY, I’ll do my best to help you (but don’t ask me to do it myself, because I suck at DIY, that’s why I have Daniela).

4. This wedding planner will not force a vendor on you.

I will certainly propose you vendors I have vetted and/or worked with, but if you have your favourite vendors already chosen, I’ll be happy to get to know them and work with them on your big day!

5. This wedding planner will not underplay your stress and anxiety.

We are all humans, we all feel things differently, and some things might not phase some people, but could be a problem for someone else. I know every one of my spouses is unique and I love giving each of them exactly what they need to live their wedding day in the most relaxing, happy, anxiety-free manner.

Whether it is holding your hand five minutes before the entrance during a last-minute freak-out (or making you laugh by accidentally smashing my nose on a very clean window… yep, that happened) or giving you a safe, silent space where to ground yourself. You feel what you feel. No one has the right to tell you it’s not normal, or that you shouldn’t feel itbecause *insert any reason here*”.

When you decide to hire a wedding planner, you choose to have an ally, a shield, a secret weapon and a warm blanket all packed into a person. That’s why it is so important to click with the professional you choose.

I hope you liked this slightly different take on dos and don’ts.

If you want to discover if I’m a good fit for you, click on the reassuring blue button down below and book a consultation.

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