What will the future of wedding planning and weddings be, at this point in time?
It’s been a tough year for everyone, but if there’s one line of work that has really suffered harshly, that is the wedding business.
While I should think that it’s obvious why, let me run a bit about it.
What are we dealing with?
We’re dealing with a new virus. Something scientists and epidemiologists and doctors are still studying and trying to understand. What we know at the moment (but it could change in time), is that it is quite contagious, that it mainly spreads through droplets escaping from our mouths and noses, and even when you’re not showing symptoms (whether yet or at all) you can still transmit it to other people.
How do we spread droplets? For example: talking, singing, laughing, shouting, dancing… does it remind you of something?
These are all activities that happen in heaps at weddings. Or, at least, in those where people are enjoying themselves and having a good time.
These activities, which are usually the best part of our lives, are now a danger.
I can’t think of a sadder thing than celebrating the day that should be one of the happiest in the life of a couple, and having, as consequence, someone hospitalized. Or even just put in quarantine.
And this has happened. Repeatedly.
That’s not why I do this job.
I do this job to make people feel secure, feel relaxed, and feel happy, not to work at all costs.
This year, what I’ve been dealing with has been pure fear.
My job has been making the postponement of my clients’ events the smoothest process possible. A wedding planner’s job, this year, for what I am concerned, is not about making sure that the entrance is perfect, which is one of the things we love to worry about. This year it was about keeping you safe.
That meant a huge sacrifice for us. It meant the sacrifice of the way we earn our living. There has been very little help, but, at the very beginning, thinking that this could stretch for over 6 months was unbelievable.
It became more and more believable as time passed by. The future of weddings darker and darker.
If we were in a Doctor Who episode, maybe 13th could save us. Most probably, 2020 is a freaking fixed point in time. Figures.
However, 2020 offers us an unusual and incredible opportunity to reflect on our role as people, as professionals, on our power as single persons and as groups. On our values and what it’s worth standing for.
When I started off as a wedding planner, I didn’t have grandiose décors and flower arrangements in mind. Don’t get me wrong, I love the creative process. But what I really strive for is the service, bringing joy in other people’s lives. It might be corny, but that’s it. And one of the roles of a Wedding Planner is to protect their spouses from anything that might mess with their joy.
Now, more and more sacrifices are requested from us, but I think that, collectively, as professionals and spouses, we need to understand and accept one thing: this situation is not as short-termed as we would have liked it to be.
We have several months of uncertainty before us.
And thus, we go back to our initial question: what will the future of wedding planning and weddings be?
Long term, I have no idea. Hopefully, we’ll get ahead of this situation soon enough, and like the amazing beings we are, we’ll overcome yet another horrible period and get back to a much happier, I hope much more mindful, life.
Short term, it is a bit different.
You maybe dreamt the perfect day with all your family and friends, and right now, that can’t happen, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up on your wedding. Getting married is a matter of two people celebrating their love first and foremost, and I think that, in the limits of what is prudent to do, you should definitely do that.
A couple of these alternatives are Elopements (we’ve talked about them here), and Micro-weddings, that are those weddings up to 20/30 people (stay tuned because I’m preparing more info for you on the topic for next week!). None of these alternatives forbid you from having a bigger celebration afterward, when it’s safe to do so, and don’t think that the emotion will be lost: it’ll be a new one all over again, if anything, you’re going to celebrate twice!
There are also ways to share this moment with your loved ones using the magnificent technology we have at our disposition in this century! Zoom parties, Skype weddings, hiring a videographer to make a video that you can then share with your families and friends to include them in your special day, or using social media to share moments of it.
I know it’s not the same as being there in person, but it’s the next best thing, and I think there’s nothing that says “fuck you Covid-19” like being able to create little bubbles of happiness despite the difficulties.
Usually, there’s a lot of criticism on the internet and social media, and I do agree with them to a degree, but… my experience with the internet since 1997 (yes, I’m an internet grandma) has been mostly positive: I’ve found wonderful people, all over the world, some of them I’ve never seen even in video, but they still meant or mean a lot to me.
This can be one way to make the future of weddings less heavy. It’s not a definite solution, I know, but not even a half-bad thing!
I’m back to quoting the Doctor when I say “Never give up, never give in”. And I’ll add “hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.”
Our choices shape the world we live in. And when we choose love, we can’t go wrong.
For now, take care, use your mask, keep your distances, wash your hands, and be as safe as you can be!
For any question, or just if you need to talk, just click on the blue button below.
Credit: Cover photo: Claudia Boschi
Photo in Venice: Laure Jacquemin